January 11, 2008

Hiding Things From Myself

When my friend Tom confessed that he had brewed a pot of coffee without the pot, I laughed at his description of the river of coffee that ran all over the kitchen. "Duh!" I said, and my insensitivity was rewarded two days later when I made a pot of coffee without the coffee.

As I stood in my kitchen contemplating my carafe of hot water, I began to think about one of the least-appealing aspects of aging: befuddlement.

Failing to measure out the coffee or replace the pot aren't signs of dementia, by any means. Neither Tom nor I forgot how to make coffee. More likely, we were just momentarily distracted from our routine.

Following a routine is one of the suggestions of experts on aging, as is keeping a detailed calendar. For example, if you always put your keys in a basket by the front door, you'll never have to tear the house apart looking for them. And, if you write down your appointments and include the name, place, time, and phone number, you won't be confused when you come across a note that says simply "make reservation" with no context.

I've only lost my keys once. We were going on vacation, and I decided to hide the keys so that our teenaged cat sitter wouldn't be tempted to take a joy ride in my car. I put them in "a safe place," which is code for a hiding spot so good even YOU won't be able to find it. Sure enough, when we returned from vacation, it was three months before I found my keys. The weather had turned cold, and I was getting some jeans out of drawer. They felt heavy. I checked in the pocket and there were the keys. I flashed back on the moment I thought of this ingenious hiding place. I had been so smug in my own cleverness.

In reality, every time I think to myself, "This is a safe place," I end up forgetting where that place is. Just recently I hid an Amazon purchase from myself. I wanted to be sure that I didn't lose the book, which was a sequel to one I was reading. When I finally finished the first 900-page book, I eagerly scanned the bookshelves for the sequel. Then I remembered: I had put it in a SAFE PLACE, thereby ensuring that even a search and rescue dog couldn't find it.

Not this time, I thought. I will not be outsmarted by myself! I tried to recreate the moment that I put the book away. What was my mood? What was I doing? Had I had my morning coffee? Was it really coffee or was it hot water?

I went out to the garage and got an empty Amazon box. I walked around the house with it, trying to summon up the fateful moment of decision.

Two weeks later, I still have not found the book. I broke down and borrowed a copy from Tom, who, although he sometimes floods his kitchen, and once had to take a taxi home after an unsuccessful search for his car in the airport parking lot, keeps his books alphabetized by author's name.

How can we stave off the inevitable effect of aging on memory? An August 2007 study published in a neurology journal found that the caffeine found in coffee may prevent memory loss in older women.

But what if I forget how to make coffee? I'm not taking any chances. I'm putting my keys and a map to Starbucks in a safe place.