November 2, 2007

Holiday Confusion

You know how I love a holiday. I'll celebrate anything at all. National Goat Cheese Appreciation Month? Count me in. Jamaican Independence Day? I'll raise a glass of rum punch to that, no problem. International Town Criers Day? I'm on the rooftops shouting, "Hear ye, hear ye!"

But by this time of the year, I'm a little weary. The big holidays are coming up soon, and I feel I have to pace myself. Even so, there are many glorious occasions and causes to be celebrated this month and I feel drawn to make merry even as I'm suffering holiday fatigue.

Here's the problem: While I'm trying to drop a few pounds so I can fit in an extra helping of my favorite pumpkin pie, this month's celebrations are heavy on the edibles.

For instance, this week is National Fig Week. We are encouraged to appreciate and exult the California fig for its juicy taste, high fiber content, and its nutritional value. I'm not that into figs, but I'm pro-California, so I'll gladly nibble a few for the cause. I could use the fiber, anyway.

I'm confused, though, about how to incorporate Fig Week with National Georgia Pecan Month. I'm willing to tip my hat to the great state of Georgia for the fact that it produces a full fifty percent of our country's pecans, but once I'm full of figs, I don't think the nuts will go down well. If anyone has a recipe for figgy pecan treats, let me know.

You are probably not aware that November is also National Pomegranate Month. Since fresh pomegranates are only available from now until January, I feel some pressure to partake during the brief time they are in season. They're on my shopping list.

On the other hand, even though Peanut Butter Lovers' Month comes only once a year, it's a 12-month celebration in our house. Besides, a jar of Skippy has a longer shelf life than a fresh pomegranate. We can mark the holiday in February. With any luck, it will correspond with National Jelly Lovers' Month.

This month's holidays have some inherent conflicts that are worse than trying to find a recipe that includes figs, pomegranates, pecans and peanut butter.

November is both Vegan Month, where we're encouraged to forego using animal products of any kind, and National Roasting Month, where we're urged to learn new techniques for slow-cooking beef, lamb, pork-and of course, turkey. To add to the confusion, it's also Gluten-Free Diet Awareness Month. I'm pretty sure this precludes using flour to make the crust of my pumpkin/pecan/peanut butter pie.

It's just exhausting. I have no idea what to make for dinner tonight. I'd make Keeper do it, but unfortunately, National Men Make Dinner Day was yesterday.