October 17, 2007

Friendless on Facebook

I hate being left in the dust, so when a friend of mine who is not terribly tech-savvy told me she was using the Internet for business networking, I had to get on board.

I started my online exploration with MySpace. It was obvious from the home page that this was not the best site to find a companion with which to trade knitting patterns over a cup of tea. MySpace is crowded with ads that flash, photos of Cool New People, and lots and lots of videos ("54,572 uploaded today!")

Nevertheless, I clicked on the "search" link and went to the "find a friend" box. I typed in the name of someone I thought might be young enough to be on MySpace-my son Tom. Sure enough, there he was, along with his musical preferences (all metal bands), interests (cars) and hobbies (beer-drinking). He had photo links to a number of friends who also had MySpace pages-most of them girls with tattoos and come-hither looks, and guys holding bottles of Bud Light. Many of them had posted messages to Tom that they might have thought twice about if they had realized his mother would read them. At least I hope they would have.

It was several weeks ago that I discovered the way my son represents himself to people who are not his parents, and recently, perhaps sensing that I was peeking, he set his profile to "private." This means I would have to ask for his permission to see his page, something I am not inclined to request. I never sought his approval to search his room when he was in high school, something I did only once; the experience taught me that there were some things a mother is better off not knowing.

Anyway, it was obvious that I was too old for MySpace. I tried Facebook, the site my friend was on. I found it to be a little more sedate, with discreet ads and a more streamlined interface. I decided to put my Face in the Book.

In building my online profile, there were many decisions to be made about how to present myself. Should I include my address? Well, it's already published in newspapers throughout the Bay Area, so why not? Should I reveal the year I graduated from college? This is also not a secret. I write about Baby Boomers and I'm proud to be one. I listed some activities and interests, at least the ones that might help me find like-minded individuals.

Then I set out to find some friends. This is what the site is all about, right? I tried to search on "University of Arizona" to find fellow alumni, but all the U of A people seemed to have graduation dates in the future. I gave up on finding college chums from Tucson and I searched my network (Silicon Valley) by high school graduation year: 1969. I found 28 people, all of whom look better than I do. Their pictures show them doing something athletic or enjoying some exotic location. I really must post a 10-year-old picture or else opt for something else altogether - like Peter, the guy whose picture was a snapshot of a manatee.

For the first several days, I was Friendless on Facebook, but I finally found a couple of people willing to be listed as my friends. It feels like being in high school and having only four people sign my yearbook (two of them relatives). I might as well go to the prom with my cousin, I'm such a loser. At least no one on Facebook can give me a wedgie.