October 12, 2007

Worst Jobs Ever?

Back when I was working at menial and unfulfilling jobs, I used to play a little game with myself. When I was having an "I hate my job" day, I would make a list of jobs that would be worse. At the top of the list were occupations like coal miner, septic tank cleaner, and proctologist. I would go back to filing or typing, grateful that while my job was mind-numbingly boring, at least it wasn't dangerous or disgusting.

For those of you still trying to figure out what you want to be when you grow up, Forbes has come out with what they call "The Worst Jobs For the 21st Century." They advise avoiding occupations that are becoming obsolete in the digital age, such as photo processor, electric meter reader, or travel agent.

Forbes missed a few careers that are going nowhere. How about small appliance repairman? Have you ever taken a toaster or a clock-radio to a shop to be repaired? Of course not. They're disposable. I tried to get a microwave repaired once and was mocked by the appliance shop for my ignorance. The part that it needed cost more than a brand new oven, so the old one ended up in the domestic device graveyard, otherwise know as the Toxic Landfill That Will Someday Swallow Civilization.

I wouldn't want to depend on making a living at LensCrafters, either. With everybody getting their lenses lasered, the demand for people who can fit eyeglasses on your face will undoubtedly plummet. Maybe the trend toward fancy designer sunglasses will keep them afloat.

Forbes claims that there will still be a need for bank tellers, but I don't like the odds. The line at the bank these days consists of small business owners clutching zippered pouches stuffed with cash, folks who don't trust the ATM, and people who are lonely and crave a little attention from a human. The tellers at my bank don't seem to have their heart in it, as if they only took the job until something opens up at Wal-Mart.

Besides the jobs that are headed for obsolescence, there are the jobs that nobody wants to do. Well, at least I don't.

Here are a few jobs I would take only if my children were starving and there was no other position available on the entire west coast.

Accountant. Now, I realize that this is a desirable career choice for some people, and thank goodness there are folks who think numbers are fun to work with. I'd rather clean bathrooms. At least toilets don't confuse me.

Customer Service Representative. I appreciate these folks and try not to give them a hard time, because I know that they put up with untold abuse from angry, frustrated consumers. I don't tolerate abuse well, nor do I have patience with stupidity. I could never keep the sarcasm out of my voice when asking, "Have you checked to make sure it's plugged in?"

Physical Trainer. First, I'm not qualified in any way. Second, I hate to sweat. Third, if I could motivate someone to get into shape, I'd start with myself.

The bottom line is-there is something for everyone's tastes and talents. I'm glad there are people who have the desire and skill to study insects, catch bad guys, or butcher hogs for a living. It's just not for me.