March 30, 2007

Stopped By a Cop? Fess Up

I haven't had a traffic ticket for 37 years. My friend Tom, on the other hand, gets a ticket every 37 days. He'll tell you that it's because he drives a sports car. Truth is, he drives a sports car VERY FAST. I don't doubt that his silver bullet car attracts more attention from law enforcement than my soccer mom mini SUV, but maybe it's because I'm not changing lanes like a crazy person.

I don't want to give you the wrong impression. Tom's an extremely safe driver. He may drive fast and appear to take chances, but I feel safe enough with him to close my eyes and doze. Of course, I make sure my seat belt is on, first.

Tom should have checked his own belt last month. He was pulled over in when he wasn't even speeding, his usual offense. The officer pointed out that he was not wearing his seat belt.

When I heard his sad tale, I was reminded of a conversation I had with my friend Fred, a former police officer, about how people react when they're stopped. "When we pull people over, right away it turns into a parent-child relationship. You're the parent who caught Johnny with his hand in the cookie jar but he'll keep denying it. Johnny can have a cookie in his hand and cookie crumbs on his chin. With a mouth full of cookie, he'll say, 'I didn't do it!'"

In Tom's case, the evidence was incontrovertible - he did not have his seatbelt on and the law requires him to wear it. There was no denying it. He got a ticket.

The next time I talked to Fred, I asked for his advice to motorists who get pulled over for this violation.

"Just admit it." he said. "Say you're sorry. Lots of times, the officer will figure you learned your lesson and will just give you a warning."

"What makes you decide to give a ticket instead of a warning?" I asked.

"If the guy starts yelling that he'll take me to court or asks why I'm not out catching robbers, I'll slap him with a ticket," he said. "Cops hate it when you do that."

This advice came too late for Tom. When he was pulled over, he went postal. He ranted and raved and then shouted the words guaranteed to turn a warning into a ticket: "Don't you guys have anything better to do? Isn't there a cat up a tree somewhere?"

He's lucky the cop didn't slap the cuffs on him.

I reminded him that perhaps a little humility was in order, especially considering all the stuff he got away with when the cops weren't around.

As I said at the beginning, I am not ticketless myself, and neither is Keeper.
My own moving violation was for an illegal right turn in Tucson, Arizona. Apparently, I was supposed to pull over into the parking lane before I turned, which, the judge agreed, was not reasonable. Case dismissed.

Keeper Husband is the only person I know who has received a ticket for going too slowly. He was stopped while driving 45 mph on the Washington D.C. Beltway, apparently endangering federal government employees in a hurry to get to work on their various bureaucratic functions. That's what he was thinking, but he wisely kept his mouth shut.

And so should you.